Becoming Better Together
I’ve said to my children on many occasions that unless we are willing to do what is challenging or uncomfortable in life, we will always limit what God can do through us. He can make us so much more than we could ever imagine through love, yet it is when we hide away in our comfort zones and don’t seek to be stretch ourselves, that God is limited in working through us because of our resistance. Our marriage calls for us to seek to create a life together that takes the best of who we are and magnify it; that takes the worst of who we are and, with help from our spouse and God, reshape it into something that is life-giving and of value to our family, or maybe even to get that pattern out of our life altogether. For the most part, we are not called to deny or change the “in-born” parts of who we are, but with aspects, such as our personalities, for example, we certainly can seek to control aspects to benefit our spouses and our families.
By nature, I may be a person who needs organization in my life. That’s fine as long as it doesn’t always rule my family by forcing them to be so organized that it stifles their creativity or time to relax. On the other hand, these skills can and should be used to benefit the physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing of the family as a whole. As a couple it would be important to see the value of the organizational skills in things like finances, home order, or even event and time management. If a person has a personality of being more playful, it may be important for them to not always use their jovialness to avoid dealing with problems, but rather consider utilizing humor when, at key times, life seems overwhelming. Their playfulness could also be used in planning vacations or events like family time or date nights.
Too often our differences attract us to each other before marriage and then annoy us during marriage. It is important as a couple to work together in making our individual qualities an asset to our marriage versus a burden. This has much to do with our perspective and desire to open our hearts to the value of what the other person brings to our life, not just before marriage but ongoing throughout.
ACTION STEP: This week, consider both spouses taking a personality assessment and utilizing the information to learn more about each other’s strengths and areas for growing in.