Catechism of the Catholic Church - Section 1646

(1646) “By its very nature conjugal love requires the inviolable fidelity of the spouses. This is the consequence of the gift of themselves which they make to each other. Love seeks to be definitive; it cannot be an arrangement ‘until further notice.’ The intimate union of marriage, as a mutual giving of two persons, and the good of the children, demands total fidelity from the spouses and requires an unbreakable union between them.  

This passage calls married couples, as Christ called them, to a nuptial covenant that is unbreakable and a life-long commitment of mutual charity (Matt. 19:6 – “They [man and wife] are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”). Why? Because, “love seeks to be definitive; it cannot be an arrangement ‘until further notice.’”

God loves us and despite our failures, He constantly fulfills His covenant of love by calling us back to Him and NEVER giving up on us. We too are called to this same kind of love with our spouse; to love them in spite of their failures and to work together to grow, improve and heal. Our actions have consequences, some good, some bad, and some are neutral. So, when we make the marital promise of ‘until death do us part,’ we are opening the door for our spouse to feel secure in sharing their heart or deepest parts of themselves, which can be very scary. Their security depends on this fidelity. Our kids also need this same kind of security in their parents, whom they love and learn from on how to love in a safe and committed way. This is why the passage states that our inviolable fidelity is vital for the “good of the children.” Without this fidelity, hearts and lives are often damaged.

This passage is a beautiful reminder that the consequence of our marital vow is a demand for total fidelity. And through that covenant, we have the grace-filled promise of Christ, as He was instituting the Heavenly Nuptial Feast here on earth at the Last Supper, that He will “not leave you orphans; He will come to you [through the Advocate or Holy Spirit].” We have Christ as the source of our marital strength, ready to help us and guide us if we are willing to seek Him out.

ACTION STEP: This week, seek ways to strengthen your marital fidelity through doing a ‘marital examination of conscience’ or through prayer, together with your spouse, asking for God’s grace to strengthen your marital bond.