The Book of Sirach and Marriage - 4

(Sirach 6: 2 – 4) “Do not fall into the grip of your passion, lest like fire it consumes your strength. It will eat your leaves and destroy your fruits, and you will be left like a dry tree. For fierce passion destroys its owner and makes him the sport of his enemies.”

My father, who was a Real Estate Agent, used to say to me, “Never fall in love with a house until after you buy it, because if you do, you will do almost anything to acquire it.” Luckily, he gave me this advice before I ever made that mistake. But this analogy also makes me think of so many other ways people have allowed their emotions or ‘passions’ to entice them into making poor decisions which eventually hurt their own wellbeing as well as damaged their relationships with others. 

Alcohol, drugs, pornography, and sexual promiscuity are some of the obvious ones. But there is also overeating, constant social media use, as well as excessive time spent on sports, partying, gaming, and gambling, just to name a few. All of these choices, and many others, I regularly see dividing couples who see me for marriage therapy. The problem is, when life gets hard, do we habitually run to our passions to cope with or distract us from our troubles, or do we first and foremost seek out supportive relationships for strength and resolve? Do we turn to God first and take our concerns to Him? Do we decompress through supporting each other as spouses? Or do we seek therapy when these issues are really severe?

Unfortunately, many run first to their passions to drowned out their concerns and often these passions, when done in excess (except drugs, pornography, and sexual promiscuity which are never healthy choices), become addictive and steal away time, attention, and resources that should be utilized more for our spouse and family. Then our relationships start to suffer and division sets in.

It’s good to have hobbies, stress relievers, and exercise in our lives, but they must always be utilized in moderation and ONLY after we have first met the needs of our spouse and children and have made equal amounts of time for our relationship with God.

ACTION STEP: This week, take stock of the “passions” in your life and assess if you are spending more time with them than with your spouse and family, or if they are creating struggles in your relationships, and seek to bring these passions under control, or eliminate all together.