Guarding the Thoughts
Philippians 4:8 – “Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
Guarding our thoughts is not just about avoiding lustful or sinful thoughts, but also about making sure, we don’t go quickly towards thinking the worst of another person, especially our spouse. It’s best practice not to assume the worst before we’ve had a chance to talk with them and understand what is going on in their heart. Both of these thought distortions can be very damaging to our marriage, in that they can cause our hearts to grow distant from our beloved.
When we give into lustful and sinful thoughts about others, it often leads to an objectification of that person and a craving for selfish pleasures. It can lead to a dissatisfaction with our own marital intimacy and cause us to be frustrated with our spouse’s lack of affection at times. We also need to guard our thoughts from thinking the worst of our spouse when things get difficult or we have disagreements or unfulfilled expectations. This will often result in the creation of a negative, and often unsubstantiated, view of our spouse, which will adversely effect our interactions with them.
These are only two ways that our thoughts can work against the health of our marital relationship, but there definitely are more. The more important thing to say here, is that we need to guard our thoughts from going to the negative, the dark, and sinful thinking because it will eventually shape our actions towards others. We need to approach things positively and with hope, but even more so, with prayer and trust in God. Especially with our spouse, we need to give them the benefit of the doubt and always seek understanding. We need to communicate well, listen more, pray for God’s heart to guide our heart, and to stop “filling in the blank” with disordered thoughts. Only that will bring more clarity to our thoughts.
ACTION STEP: This week, identify ways that you approach your spouse from a negative perspective, and work at thinking the best, but following that up with a conversation to bring about clarity.