Love Never Fails
Who has ever hated being loved, besides Satan? Pride and anger may blind us to it for a time, but love is what can eventually penetrate a stony heart. Many great Saints have learned the profound lesson that hate begets hate, but love softens the heart, and heals the soul. One example of this is found in John 8:1-11, in which the Pharisees try to use the woman caught in adultery as a pawn to trap Jesus. Jesus, in his love for both the Pharisees and the adulteress, challenged each to see and to turn away from the sins that ensnared them. When He said, “Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her,” the Pharisees were forced to turn, reluctantly, away from their evil intent. Turning then to the adulteress, Jesus saved her from her deadly lifestyle with the words, “Neither do I condemn you. Go, from now on do not sin anymore.”
How often in marriage do we speak condemningly toward each other, even in little ways, rather than with a loving challenge, as Christ did? We may ‘accuse and speak harshly’ at our spouse, in order to force a change in our beloved’s heart and mind. Often, however, we get the opposite effect: they become angry and withdraw from us rather than changing a hurtful or difficult behavior. Then, eventually, when we desire reconciliation, we are faced with dealing, not only with the original problem that began the conflict, but also with the destruction caused by our harsh words.
To love another person in “good times and bad” (sound familiar?) is the medicine needed for two people, broken from birth by sin, to eventually find healing, as they become each other’s helpmate toward heaven. Love will never fail us because it flows from the heart of God. When we address issues with our spouse, we must speak the truth in love, even if it is a difficult truth (like Jesus’s words to the adulteress). This requires patience and wisdom, and it can have a profound healing effect in our relationships. We must also be prepared to let the truth reach our own hearts. Though it can cut us to the quick (like the Pharisees), it is ultimately the remedy for our failings.
ACTION STEP: This week, pray to the Sacred Heart of Jesus for your heart to be more loving. When the opportunities arise, seek to respond to your spouse with gentleness and truth, not harshness.