Sub-Mission - Part 3

“So, husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body” (Ephesians 5:28-29).

When considering this part of the passage, I’m struck by the imagery of caring for our spouse as we would our own body. We all seek to preserve our bodies from harm or pain and will go to great lengths to do so. Often, when we see our spouse in great physical pain or distress, we try to help by bandaging the wound or getting them to someone else who can better care for their injury.

Although we may do this with physical ailments, how often do we tend to our spouse’s emotional wellbeing, especially when we are at odds with each other? In therapy sessions, I frequently hear about the cruel and discouraging things spouses say to each other when angry. Do we ever stop to think about the emotional wounds and damage we are causing? Do we only feel compassion when we see blood or broken bones? Or can we learn to see how our words may cause even greater destruction?

This part of Ephesians 5 calls us, especially men, to be more chivalrous and gracious in how we speak to and treat our beloved. This requires courage, sacrifice, and even suffering. Just as Christ was willing to suffer humiliation and death for His beloved spouse (the Church), we must do the same for our spouse. Just as we care for our own physical and emotional wellbeing, so too must we protect the physical and emotional wellbeing of our spouse.

ACTION STEP: This week, work hard at changing any patterns you may have of tearing down your spouse through angry words, snarky remarks, sarcasm, or targeted silence. Hold your tongue when needed and be the first to reach out when apologies are necessary.