Sub-Mission - Part 5

“Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)

As we wrap up these passages in Ephesians 5, we are reminded about the Golden Rule – ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ But I would like to take it to an even deeper level. I would suggest that we ‘do unto our beloved as they need done unto.” These, both together, indicate a need to treat another person in a way that we too would want to be treated but also, that we would specifically seek to meet the ‘needs’ of our spouse for whom we pledged our life to serving.

Every one of us has emotional needs and we look to those we trust and love to help us get those needs met. If the need is not met, our stress level goes higher, and we find that our relationship can become strained. If the need continues to be unfulfilled, especially if no attempts are even being made to fulfill them, then the stress and frustration continues to grow. If the need is met at any point, it can bring down anxiety and division, and couples can grow through the experience. But, if the needs go unmet for long periods of time, couples could start to experience, what I call, emotional starvation. 

One of those emotional needs that both spouses have, is stated in the last sentence of this passage – respect. Without it, we can feel dishonored, unloved, and even unwanted. In our marital mission toward helping each other get to heaven, we need to love with sacrificial love, and treat each other as a child of God who is made in His image and likeness, and to remember that what we do unto others, we also do unto Christ. 

ACTION STEP: This week, seek to treat your spouse the same way you would want to be treated, especially in those times of mistakes, disappointments, and misunderstandings.